This month, on the Conscious Adventurer, we’re talking about Internal and External Environments. One of my readers asked about tips for dealing with self-centred people.
It’s my absolute pleasure to have this guest post by Simone Wittmann about this topic. Simone is the creator of happyhealthylove.de and provides simple but effective fitness, health and lifestyle tips to help you live a happier, healthier and more balanced life. She’s also a real kitchen girl and likes to share new vegetarian and vegan recipes with you. As a psychology student, she’s all about developing self-love, understanding other and helping you become the best version of yourself. If you’re curious, check out her blog and don’t forget to download her free, printable goal-setting guide!
I guess all of you know people who always make you feel negative and unmotivated, even if you are just talking to them about the weather. That person doesn’t necessarily have to be your boss, sometimes even the people that are close to you, your friends or family members can be one of them. You’re in a great mood, happy, positive and motivated and the moment you talk to them, you suddenly feel like something is weighing you down and making you feel uncomfortable. Those people can change your mood within a minute, am I right?!
I’ve met a lot of those people over the last few years, and I have finally found a way, how to deal with those negative, difficult people and what you can do to stay happy and positive!
Understand why they are being the way they are. Some reasons could include:
- Depression – Everything is going wrong, you’re failing at everything, thoughts rapidly become negative, and coupled with stress, you can become extremely negative, and destructive.
- Limited beliefs, pessimists – This and that won’t work, you don’t even need to try it.
- Victim role – “It never worked for me”; They will always think just because they didn’t achieve xyz, you can’t be successful.
- Close minded people – certain beliefs -They think women have to stay at home and look after the kids, no sex before marriage – they want you to be/act “the way you are supposed” to be/act and they don’t accept your behaviour.
- Drama – Some people just like to have dramatic lives.
- Don’t just get rid of them
It’s so easy to say, ‘just get rid of them, surround yourself with positive people”, and to be honest, that is great advice, when you talk about ‘friends’ or people that you don’t need to have in your life. We all have friends – and ”friends”. Of course, you can choose not to spend your precious time with the people who make you feel unmotivated and uncomfortable. But often you can’t choose if you want to be surrounded by those people, your boss or co-workers, for example – plus, there are always going to be people who comment about you and getting rid of all of them would be impossible.
- See it as an opportunity to develope your character
Use that negative energy and ask yourself these following questions.
Am I in command of my emotions?
Can I stay focused and positive?
Am I focusing on what’s wrong with this person?
Is that person’s behaviour affecting my emotions?
By focusing on the negative aspects, you let them win. Try and challenge yourself to work on your character.
- Empathize
Whenever you are dealing with difficult people, try and remind yourself that you’ve been rude to other people too. Even if we are trying really hard to be kind, loving souls, we all have been rude. It’s normal that we’re in a bad mood sometimes and that we act in a way that we normally wouldn’t. Wonder what happened! You don’t know their struggles and stories. Be understanding and supportive, you never know what’s going on in their lives. Learn to use it as something that helps you improve your people skills.
- Ignore all the negative comments
When someone is talking to you in a rude way, give a simple, neutral “I see” or “Ok” reply. Don’t let it get to you! Don’t let them win! On the other hand, when the person is being positive, reply in a positive and enthusiastic way. That way you show them, that a negative attitude won’t impress you, but a positive attitude is going to be rewarded.
A big thank you to Kumari for giving me the opportunity to blog here, I enjoyed writing it. If you liked this post, feel free to check out my blog for more. www.happyhealthylove.de
My hugest thanks to the wonderful Simone for this guest blog post. What strategies do you apply when dealing with difficult people? How do you ignore negative comments? We would love to hear from you in the comments below.
*Authors opinions are their own and do not reflect on any organisations or affiliations.
Adventures in Conscious Living 